Cancer horoscope jokes

Is this website a joke? No, it is not a joke. The calculations are done using astrology, so if you believe in astrology you should believe this website. However, please keep in mind that the results given are not always entirely true, because astrology is not an exact science, so you should use that result only as a guideline.

In some cases the report given by our love calculator is completely wrong, but those cases are exceptions and cannot be avoided. How do you do your calculations?

Here’s What You Find Funny, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

We use astrology. The next time this sign sweeps into the room in a stunning outfit, have a clothing tag ready that reads "Reduced Price - Factory Reject," and then arrange to distract Leo while you strategically pin or tape the sign to their jacket or shirt.


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This nit-picking sign takes curious pleasure in tucking in the label of your shirt, brushing the fluff off your collar, or pointing out that your shoelace is untied. If you'd like to get back at the Virgin, simply put a spool of thread into the breast pocket of your coat, and then attach a sewing needle to the end of the thread.

Run the thread down your sleeve and poke it through the fabric of your sleeve, right above the cuff. Leave about two inches of thread hanging loose, then snip off the needle. Once the Virgin spots the errant thread, they won't be able to resist the urge to pull it You get the idea. Libra can't bear it when others are inconsiderate. Therefore, plan to borrow something secretly from this sign.

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Write a polite note saying you needed it, that you'll treat it with care and that you'll return it as soon as you're back from your vacation. Thank Libra profusely for their understanding, and then dash off an illegible signature, leaving Libra to wonder who made off with their favorite lamp, chair, or stapler.

Scorpio is the detective of the zodiac. Inside the folder, place a folded note that says, "Thanks for helping me organize my files, Scorpio. However, I'm going to need this folder tomorrow, so just leave it where it is. If the hair is missing when you open the folder, you know Scorpio fell into your trap! Archers will do anything to get a laugh, because they can't bear it when life gets too serious. If you'd like to turn the tables on your favorite Sag, refuse to smile at their antics. Remain stony-faced when they purposely dribble food down their fronts, talk in weird accents, and perform dead-on impersonations.

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Then have someone tell a lame joke, and laugh hysterically. Goats are famous for their strong social climbing skills. Sometimes, their snobbery can wear a little thin. If you want to try to get a rise out of Capricorn, embrace the lowest common denominator. Serve peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwiches for lunch. Quote Paris Hilton extensively. Cite Britney Spears and Kevin Federline as your fashion icons. Aquarians take great pride in marching to the beat of their own drummer.

How to Flirt with Cancer

The best way to tease these rebels is by conforming. Program all the channels on their car radio to the same Top Ten station. Refuse to read any books that haven't been recommended by Oprah. Suggest that they tone down their look in order to fit in.


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Pisceans are incredibly sensitive and compassionate. Fish have been known to burst into tears at the sight of a sad-eyed puppy. Create a Password Forgot your password? Enter your registered email below! To Save to My Recipe Box. Log In Never created a password? You are not currently subscribed. It appears your Facebook email address is not subscribed to PureWow. Please indicate how you like to proceed:. I am not currently subscribed to PureWow. I am already subscribed to PureWow. Please log in to your account.

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Please enter a valid email address The emails have been sent. Please consider subscribing to PureWow. Sign up for PureWow to get more daily discoveries sent straight to your inbox. Thanks for Sharing! Now like us on Facebook. Want more where that came from? Aries This can be a tricky match.

Gemini Geminis have a lot of good qualities to bring to any romantic partnership: They are funny, enthusiastic, highly intelligent, curious and love to have a good time.

The Zodiac Signs Ranked From The Funniest To The Not So Funny

Libra Libras love traditional romance, just like Cancers, but their approach is usually coolheaded and intellectual, rather than emotional. Cancer Crabs on crabs understand how important security is to the other, and when it clicks, these two will immediately start construction on a stable future together. Virgo This is the match that begs the question: Who will pamper the pamperers? Taurus Tauruses and Cancers speak the same love language: Money. Pisces Pisces, fellow water signs, are deep and emotional.

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